Sights of Old Hillingdon
(1966)

Location. The Domus Praefectorum is situated snugly between toilets and thirty-odd coat hangers on the lowest gallery of the St. Nicholas Building its surrounding scenery is rather tasteful, most noticeable being a vast chamber opposite, wherein may be found many interesting features such as fossils, examples of Philip's cartographic techniques, a globe, and a motley selection of individuals known to the locals as "Middle Sixth Econ". The lighting of the adjoining gallery is a rather delightful example of the use of Osram bulbs, and the flooring of the gallery is renowned for its engravings in the local abundant material-grime.
What to See. The visitor to the Domus Praefectorum is greeted by a dark green wooden door. Of interest is the decoration in mud applied by a fourth former's "Stickasole". One will be greeted by a member of the Praefecti Community, and on making a substantial contribution to a silver collection at the door, will be shown into the historic room, passing on the way a thick curtain which is orange-brown in colour, steeped in history, a part of the British way of life and somehow - at the same time - filthy dirty. Of particular interest is the dank smell generated by rugby socks gently simmering on a hot water pipe. Decorations are of late 1965 style, having been applied by members of the Domus themselves, and use has been made of paints that are both delicate in texture and expressive in colour, and yet - cheap. The stout walls of the Damus lead to the Great Window and to the focal point of the whole room, The Curtain. A source of wonder and amazement to all passers-by outside, The Curtain hangs gracefully, the subtly stretched areas accentuating its fine weave, its expert manufacture in the British colony of Hong Kong, and the fact that it is a yard too small. The handsome furniture of this room is of a rare type, fourth-hand and discarded.
As may be deduced from the mitre on the habit of the Praefecti, the community is a devout and righteous-living one although personages connected with the nearby Convent are seen to be made welcome periodically: and while several members were once Pepsicotics and Laccoholics, they are earnestly trying to reform.
In all, to see the Domus Praelectorum and the way the Praefecti themselves live, is an unforgettable and unique experience which can only result in one's being shocked thrilled, exhilarated and nauseated.
How to Get There. By foot or bike to the Crystal Stairs, and then follow the smell of poached games attire to a room surrounded by wayward members of 2B.