The Case
(1966)

The year was 1975, and the threat of nuclear war was ever present.

A. J. Smith was devoted to his job, which was to carry The Case. The Case contained the President's documents and was padlocked to Smith's arm. Smith had to follow the President everywhere he went. He had followed him for seven years.

In the President's office the two men faced each other. "How long have you been carrying that case. A.J.?" Seven years, sir." How many keys has it?" "One, sir." "You're sure?" "Positive," answered Smith. The President picked up the red telephone ''Yes? replied a Russian voice. "What do you want?"

"Have you cleared up after that United Nations party in the Kremlin last week?

"Yes," replied the voice. "Did you find the President's pants? "Yes. "Can I have them back?" - "No!" The 'phone went dead.

The President turned to Smith who was sitting on a stuffed grizzly bear and playing patience.

What would happen if we forced The Case open, A.J.?" "The Case," replied A.J. "would explode. May I know why you ask?!

"Well," replied the President, the key is in the pocket of those pants I lost in the Kremlin, and I've just got to have those documents out of the case, or there'll be war.

He picked up the blue telephone. "Is that the Army?" "No, this is the Secret Service." He reached for the green telephone, and paused, uncertain "Try the yellow one", said Smith. "Hello, is that the Army?"

"Yes." "Capture the Russian missile bases in Eastern Europe." "Yes, sir", said the voice. Five minutes later the yellow 'phone rang "Mission accomplished, sir", "Good, Nice work." said the President, He picked up the red telephone.

Is that the Russian Premier! I'll trade you your missile bases for my pants."

M. BOTTOMS, 3C