Memory Lane 12

Mike Shammas recalls:

My best memory? Mr Easom, teaching Physics. We were certain all the iron fillings were numbered.

One day, he started by asking for the workbooks with the physics homework in. Of course, no one had done it. Sitting at back, I started writing it in my book

Starting at the front, he asked each boy for their homework, one by one. Left it at home sir. DETENTION he bellowed. I brought my Maths book by mistake. DETENTION! I forgot to do it. DETENTION!

He worked his way slowly down the line. Until he got to Brown. Brown was chubby, mild, polite, inoffensive. And even he hadn't done the homework.

"Well, laaaaad?", intoned Mr Easom...

"I ..... I .... I couldn't be bothered, Sir."

You could have heard a pin drop. Really. We all knew this wouldn't end well. Poor old Brown.

"WHAAAT?" Easom couldn't believe he had heard what he thought he heard.

"I couldn't be bothered to do it sir."

All eyes switched to Mr Easom. All those that weren't studiously avoiding eye contact in an attempt to avoid collective punishment. Even I looked up from my furious scribbling.

"Alright laaad", he said, "Get it to me by next lesson. I like a novel excuse."

Shocked ain't the word. Brown smiled, more through relief than bravado.

Easom moved on to the next boy. It might've been Cummings, I'm not sure.

"WEEEEELL, LAAAADD?" Easom wheedled, "where's your homework?"

"I couldn't be bothered to do it either, Sir!"

"DETENTION!" shrieked Easom in delight, "That's not original any more!"

Quite the funniest thing Mr Easom ever did, and also the smartest. He gained my respect that day. And my homework, 5 minutes later.