Choice Cuts 21

How to Lose Your Head In the Nicest Possible Way. Newsletter No. 52, 30th Sep 1975

Once upon a time, there was a Grammar School. Well actually, believe it or not, there were quite a lot, and there was this particular one which was named after the patron saint of children and scholars. For most of the time that this school existed as such, for twenty out of its twenty-two years, it had the same Headmaster. In time, of course, he decided that it might be nice to stop being a Headmaster, so he retired. When they heard about this, a lot of the people who he had taught, and a lot of their parents, thought the occasion ought to be marked in a fitting manner.

Consequently, on the evening of the 19th September 1975, about 450 assorted Old Boys, present boys, parents, teachers and ex-teachers were gathered together at the School, in order to say a formal "farewell" to Dr. Watson. At precisely eight o'clock, Dr. and Mrs. Watson arrived and were received in the School Hall. Not only did they get a very warm welcome, but it also meant that the bar was now open. In addition to that, a string quintet began to provide musical accompaniment, in true Watsonian spirit. Our guests of honour then embarked upon the mammoth task of having a chat with everybody present.

After a while, they needed a bit of a break from that, so Mr. Jones of the Parents Association led them up onto the stage and started to address the assembled company. He explained that a number of people (about 600 or so) had donated just over one thousand pounds for this occasion, and went on to describe how this sum had been disposed of. First of all, he got Mrs. Watson to go and pull a string hanging down one side of the Hall. This revealed a splendid portrait of her husband which, it was hoped, the School would accept. Mr. Shearn, in his capacity as acting Head, said the School would be delighted. Mrs. Watson was then presented with a framed copy of the photograph from which the portrait was taken. The next item on the agenda was a rigid wooden music stand which for domestic reasons Dr. Watson would find more convenient than his previous collapsible variety. The stage curtains, which had hitherto remained closed were now swept aside to reveal a large number of tokens of the esteem in which Dr. Watson is held. These included a wooden summer-house, various items of garden and caravan furniture, a range of garden tools, a set of golf clubs and other golfing equipment. And, as this collection was not sufficient to exhaust the fund, Dr. Watson was also presented with a cheque.

It would have been quite understandable if, on being showered with gifts in, this manner, the recipient had been reduced to incoherent stammerings when called upon to express his reaction. Anybody, however, who has known Dr. Watson for longer than about five minutes is well aware that one of his talents is the ability to say a few appropriate words whatever might be sprung upon him.

This occasion was no exception, despite his confession of speechlessness. He assured us that most of what had happened was without his prior knowledge, and that he was fully appreciative of the tributes he had been paid. He also managed to squeeze in his opinion on the proposed future of the school, a view well known to those of you who attend our Annual Dinner. That concluded the more formal part of the evening.

We were then able to enjoy a magnificent buffet which had been prepared by members of the Parents Association, and in the Hall there was music for dancing by the K and K Big Band which was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone, and the evening ended with a rousing chorus of Auld Lang Syne. I feel sure that all those who attended were struck by the high regard in which Dr. and Mrs. Watson are held by so many people, not only because of the material evidence of the fund, but also because of the time and effort that so many people had spent in making sure that the reception was so well supported. I must thank, on behalf of our Association, not only all those members of the Parents Association whose contribution was more than merely financial, but also the Old Boys who lent a hand in the preparation and running of the reception and in clearing up afterwards.

I think it is probably true that one of the last adjectives one could use of Dr. Watson is "retiring", so I think we can all look forward to his continuing presence at Old Boys functions - it is rumoured that when our clubhouse opens he'll be buying the first round.

Mike Godden