A Traveller's Tale (1956)

With apologies to Baron Munchausen

On the third day after setting out to seek adventure, a terrible storm broke out which tossed my little ship on to an island.

I saw on this island the most horrible land monster that I have ever set eyes upon. Seeing me it charged straight at my person. Being surprisingly nimble for my size, I dodged it with some skill, whereupon the creature came rushing at me again. This time I slew the brute with one blow of my mighty fist.

I then set about mending my little craft. Satisfied that she was seaworthy, I set sail for further adventure. After sailing for some weeks without observing land, I began to fear the worst. My fears proved well founded for the very next day I saw a sight which every sailor dreads. It looked as if I were approaching a huge waterfall, but I knew what it was: I was approaching the end of the earth.

In an instant I had been flung head-over-heels into what I thought to be a bottomless void. However, after falling for a few hours, my astonished eyes beheld another world. It was circular in appearance, the only land above sea level being mountains of a queer conical shape which looked as if they had pink snow on them. The next moment I fell on to one of these mountains and began rolling down towards the sea. I found that the pink snow that I had noticed earlier was nothing other than candy floss. The next moment I had descended into the sea which I found to be not salt water but lemonade. I discovered that my little ship had landed the right way up in the water, but even as I watched I saw two huge tentacles reach up and pull it under the surface. I at once dived after the craft. When I caught up with it I saw that a giant octopus was pulling it into the ocean depths. Nothing daunted, I forced myself to the bottom where, as I had hoped, there lay an old Spanish galleon. After some effort, I removed the bowsprit which I grasped until the octopus was within range. At the crucial moment, I hurled the spear, aiming at the octopus's left eye. The creature died instantly and dropped my ship which I recovered and lifted to the surface. After baling out, I was able without further trouble to resume my interrupted journey.

K. BRYER (IC).