The Headmaster's Dilemma (1957-58)

The Head was in a dreadful rage,
For he had lost his cane.
He turned the classrooms inside out,
And threw the books all round about,
And nearly went insane.

He climbed the drainpipe to the roof
And looked throughout the school:
On shelves, in desks, on every stair,
Then in the kitchens - No! not there!
Nor even in the hall!

The boys were questioned, one by one
All standing in a line,
"Come now, you boys, and do not lie,
Was it you, boy?" "No, sir, not I."
"Well? Who then did this crime?"

Back in his study, he addressed
His staff all sitting round;
Gentlemen, colleagues." quoth he,
"Distasteful as this seems to me,
The cane just must be found!"

A full-scale search was carried out,
With tracker dogs and men;
Detectives came down from the Yard,
But, as the case was very hard,
Went on their way again!

The Head despaired and shed a tear;
His gown he twirled around.
To his surprise and chagrin too,
From out the folds an object flew,
And clattered to the ground.

D. CUMMING, 3A