Impressions Of School (1969)

My skool is big, cos it's got two staircases 

An' three floors an' a real gymnasium

An' hundreds of teachers in enormous robes 

An' why are the fourth formers so rough?

My school is interesting 'cos of the societies 

And everyone is keen on collecting bottle tops 

And the masters get my name right now

And there's a lot of new kids, so I'm an old boy!

My schoole is a monastery-cos of that fence! 

And we mustn't wave at the girls

Or lean on the fence and throw that ball back 

'Cos here comes a monitor.

My school is a bore 'cos of exams,

And we must work hard this year, boys,

And do lots of papers for practice,

And why are your "mocks" so awful, lad ?

My school is pretty good because one specializes,

And the masters are quite human - sometimes. 

And the common room is enjoyable and an escape. 

And one works occasionally to break the monotony.

My school is intellectual, you know,

And one really has got to get down to it, chaps,

And this is the big year so work hard!

And why are your "mocks" so d - - - - awful, lad!

My old school was pretty reasonable, really.

I pass it on the way to work.

All the faces are different.

I sometimes wish I was back... Or do I?

P. E. MERCER, M6S