Choice Cuts 23

How to become a Touch Judge, Newsletter No. 68, Nov 1977

(A sequel to M.P's 'How to Become a Spectator - see last issue)

A car with a full tank of 4 star, an A-Z of Southern England and East Anglia, preferably a list of all the rugby grounds where the Old Boys' could be playing a fixture card is not necessary in fact it is downright misleading. Alternatively you can arrange a lift with Tony and his supply of glacier mints. Arrive at Ruislip Station at a time given you by team secretary who agrees to phone you each week. After the first match this arrangement ceases.

At first sight you appear to be the only one there, at second sight this is confirmed, This is because the time of meeting is so arranged that those O.B.'s who are tired after the Friday night training can have another half hour tolerance, a further 15 minutes is added to allow Micky Owen to go home for his jock strap!

Eventually 'they' begin to arrive, Ye Gods! Maps are spread over roofs of cars and sometimes usually about twice a season (including Ruislip) someone reckons to have intimate knowledge of where the game is being played. Pete Johnson disappears into Ruislip Station about 10 times, not to visit the gents but to make late team selectors telephone calls. After reorganising the sides so that the 3rd team prop plays on the wing for the 1sts and the 3rd team has at least 8 players, we move off.

I have had an offer to join Andy Kerr at Ruislip, so as soon as a replacement comes forward, I can be released (and even earlier says Tommy thinking of the Middlesex Preliminaries).

Arthur Plowman

(Next Newsletter: Diary of a Mad Touch Judge)