Choice Cuts 24

"Suns ov are Farvers", Newsletter No. 72, Sep 1978

When the Club Chairman, Ian Dothie, recently sent a letter out to three of our elderly supporters, he got a very mixed response. Writing to ask their help in providing an article for the local rag each week. Arthur Plowman (linesman) replied that he was "never able to keep in touch"; Bob McClelland (armchair reporter) replied "Oi bink oi'm yorr marn"!, whilst the following was received from that notable man about Brookside, A.J. Barber, Esq., (Cheerleader):

Dear Ian,

Many thanks for your letter of 6th. July containing the threat to make some other aged V.P. or myself the chief SNOB RFC Scribe.

Owever wot makes you fink i can string words togevver proper into sente groups which make sens let alone spel em corret rite. Hot aving ad the advant benee luck to go to a gramma skool as is well nown there are times wen wot i say is unprintable and i fink that the SN0BS wood be dun botter by sum one oo not only can rite but nows wot ees torkin about. i fink mister McCle Miclel Bob oo was edicat skoold more better an wot i wos is your man also being a sivil servant particularly a i-ranking wun e as mor time to sit and fink in is offis about rugby and nows all the names of the posh players wot goes to twickenham and brookside an e can kwote them all off to you wivout aving to look at books an e also dont shout rood words at referees at least not so loud as wot i do so wot e mite rite mite even get printed. well any way i will ave a chat wiv bob and praps weel be able to cook somefing up between us the only fing is wiv getting wot mite be rit into Cricketfield road first post monday is that the last collection goes mid-day satterdayso the riter wood ave to rite up the game befor it was plaid in the afternoon witch being irish bob cood probly do very well provided the little peeple dident get hold of his pen or some fing else diabolical. The only uvver fing wich bovvers me is wot as appened to malcolm parrish oo made such a good scribe and oo came last season to wotch most of the games or at least wos there chatting up the birds cos is riting is umorous even if every time e plaid rugby e got clobbered somefing rotten e did make notes about the games (wot e didernt play in) and e even like bob new the names of the blokes on the field and even from wot e said wevver they was legitimate or not witch you must agree does make a differens wen your putting fings down in cold black and wite. Anyway as i said earlier lem me av a chat wiv our bob and iver e or i will be in tuch wiv you.

yours illiterately,